As I See It
by 384
Summary: Just drabbles and stuff about what I think of the characters in DB Z ... Chap 1:chichi chap2:Mr. Satan CHAP 3: Dragonball Evolution
1. Chichi

**ChiChi **

In my humble opinion, Chichi is a horribly misunderstood character.

"Loud, obnoxious, and nerve-gratingly bossy."

"The lucky bitch, who got hooked up with everyone's idol."

"…and doesn't even manage to appreciate it."

I remember quite enthusiastically screaming "YES COULD YOU PLEASE?!" while watching the episode of DBZ in which Yajirobe oh-so-kindly offers to smack Goku's so-called-wife a good one (he didn't).

Thirteen years have passed since I've started watching the series and I've done my share of growing-up, experiencing, and generally feeling much more of what makes up our world. But now that I have, I can't help but feel a little sorry for the poor woman who just had to go fall in love with the savior of the universe, who has much more important things to do than be her husband… and believe it or not she knows it too.

Although Chichi's "love" may have started as a simple childhood infatuation, coupled up with what might be grossly old-fashioned beliefs about heterosexual relationships, I doubt that this is hardly enough to keep a young and beautiful woman widowed and raising two children of her past husband, in the middle of nowhere for seven years.

From the first day of Chichi's not so ordinary marriage, she was faced with a situation where her newly wed husband was fighting against the end of the Earth with a hole in his chest. She stood there unable to do more than watch and pray to a god that (although she had no way of knowing) was standing right before her, watching her husband's life dangle just as helplessly as she was. Sure this fight had EVERYONE'S life at stake – but most immediately was Goku's. Now the Ox-king's daughter is only human – who can blame her for wishing only for the safety of that one man, her husband, who just had to be the world's only hope? Time after time again Chichi found herself waiting in an empty home not knowing how her husband was doing… only that nine out of ten he was in some fatal combat.

Imagine the horror of watching your son grow to become everything you love – strong, kind, sweet and naïve, a born hero. Everything your husband was… everything that drove him head first into harm's way.

So is it really too selfish to be forgiven for wishing that at least your son would just stay behind the desk and out of danger? Is it really that wrong to get so emotional about seeing your lifelong fears unfold yet again before your eyes? Is it THAT sinful for a mother to try to keep her son (if not her husband) off the battlefield? What's wrong with worrying for her son's studies, his wellbeing – his immediate security – rather than the safety of the ungrateful humanity who lives only because her husband had been so willing to die for it?

What is a woman to do when she wants her heroic husband to just stay home, be safe and be _saved_ for once… but knows all too well that there is no other choice. Words fail her, there is nothing she can do, so she PMS's.


	2. Mr Satan

A/N: I know you guys saw this coming a mile off… Here's a tribute to Mr. Satan/Hercule/Whatever-his-name-is.

**Mr. Satan**

Though I tried to keep in mind that there is a thin but noticeable line between a 'bashing' and a reasonable 'critique' while writing, there are only so many euphemisms I can bare to find and attempt to use on the guy. I've tried to be an adult, to be fair, maybe even say a good thing or two about the faker. But I think it's only fair to say that Mr. Satan is just that: a total faker. I couldn't help but laugh while I was writing this because I felt like it was all just a continuous effort to find something nice to say about the 'man who saved Earth'.

I even tried taking the seemingly popular route of defending the human wonder: i.e. "At least he's strong for a normal human." This route for Mr. Satan's escape from becoming a complete waste of space was blocked the moment he call himself a 'martial artist (武道家/budouka)', literally, a person who walks the path of martial arts. Already explained during the 22nd world martial arts tournament where Goku faces Panpoot "the champion of many fighting contests," Master Roshi specifically says that a martial artist must strive to overcome common sense. Everyone was in agreement that the world martial arts tournament is for such people, and though 'Hercule' holds the 'champion belt', he just doesn't make the cut. And even if you put aside 'Goku and friends' there is still Tao-pai-pai, the red ribbon army, Namu, Chapao, and so many others we have met through out Goku's journey who speak against giving the man any credit.

As a character in a story, I actually like the idea of Mr. Satan. In a world full of heroes that are much too awkward and honest to get along with a crowd, there is he who, surprisingly enough, hits it off great with the masses. (I'm giving the man a point for helping complete the 'genki-dama' in the 'Buu-saga'.) And at the very least he manages to be an irritating, teeth-smashing, annoying bringer of 'comic-unrelief.' But isn't that more of a compliment to our dear and lovable Toriyama Akira rather than the character himself?

Most of Mr. Satan's character build-up lies by parasitizing on the 'Z-warriors' work. Most of his actions come from trying to hide the truth (i.e. pretending to lose on purpose, agreeing to pride-killing offers, refusing to see a doctor even when his body's a wreck) and looms over his other actions like a shadow. The way he idolizes his children and grandchildren, his idiocy, might have been quite endearing had they been of any other character. I mean look at Vegeta: all his fans can't seem to get enough of seeing him secretly fawn over his son and daughter. And I myself can't stop my fan-girly squeals whenever Goku stops and asks questions about the obvious.

Most people who watch anime enough to write a rant or two on the net have respect for people's rights to their works. They burn with the need to give a strong tongue-lashing to the people who dare claim others' works as their own, which is probably why art theft is looked upon as such a great crime. Even I think it's one of the stupidest things man can do; The moment Mr. Satan stuttered out to the reporter: "Erm… I defeated cell?" his fate was sealed. None of his actions, cute or not, would ever be looked upon with understanding eyes. EVER.

So what can Mr. Satan do to lessen his sins? (no pun intended) He's come way too far to come straight out with the truth, and while I enjoy reading a fanwork or two (or ten) dedicated to describing his humiliation as his mask is ripped off, never do I want to see him do this in the canon. This sudden 'generosity' comes more from the work of Videl, rather than the actual character in question. Videl married Gohan. It's as simple as that. Satan became family. Goku doesn't seem to be bothered in the least, and while I still want to rip the afro head a new one, his complete lack of brains and tact make me feel like a pre-school teacher stuck with a dumb child. There is nothing you can do about him, but once you get used to him, he might just be kinda cute, in a weird, undeserving way.

On a completely different note, the only person who annoys me more than Mr. Satan is that dumbass who had the nerve to put his stupid arm up with GUSTO after Mr. Satan told him to. Yeah you! The friggin blondie in the jersey! I hope you get run over by a tractor.


	3. Dragonball Evolution

Dragonball evolution

There be spoilers…. Not that I can spoil that rot anymore than it spoiled itself.--;;

I was scared out of my pants by this. I was told to expect a 'Goku who goes half fish, a Roshi that wasn't a pervert, a Bulma without blue hair, a yellow Piccolo, and a Chichi who seemed to be a 'miss Kim" who just jumped out of a Korean coffee parlor(dabang… if you don't get it you obviously aren't Korean keke ^^)'. Not only that, Goku apparently goes to high school where he is suitably friendless and has the 'I promised so-and-so that I wouldn't fight' thing going on. I told myself that I wouldn't be watching the thing, but curiosity got the better of me… obviously the cat wasn't the only thing it killed.

The pros of the movie were: Goku never goes half fish, Master Roshi had a dirty magazine and a fascination with Bulma's ass, and it was good to see that Park Jun-young was still alive. (I wish he was still in GOD) But that's about it. Before watching it I figured; hey yocching, it's Hollywood, at least you can expect good graphics and screenplay……Nothing out of the ordinary, the fight scenes had much to be wanted. And I couldn't help but be utterly disappointed by the beer-bellied god of dragons, when it decided to twine it stumpy body up through the sky.

I admit that I am angry about what Fox did to my childhood dreams and that I may be a bit unfair. I saw many a 'pro-evolution' reviews saying that the audience should be less skeptical and try to look at the movie as a separate thing that only was 'inspired' by the work we love so much. So I attempted to look at the movie as a person who never read DB….

Well here goes:

The mandatory 'black screen with a typical mystical history explanation' fades to show a western man sweating on top of some ropes. An old asian man comes into view wielding a steel pipe, joins western guy on the ropes and says "Prepare to eat dust. YEEE-AH!" (god, I hope they aren't paying whoever wrote that dialogue…) *fight scene*. After western dude who is named after a monkey (for reasons I can not tell) loses to asian old guy who is apparently his grandfather, he gets a typical kung-fu lecture. Later we find 'Goku' going to school where he gets picked on and crushes on a girl in a short skirt, whom he woos by opening a number of lockers. Goku gets invited to a party which is where he conveniently is when his grandfather is killed after eating a b-day-celebration-meal alone. While this was happening, Goku was busy kicking asses of guys who need to read more and looked WAY too old to be in high school. I was expecting a pretty good guilt trip, but that never happened; monkey-boy seemed to be too preoccupied in his sudden "dude I'm going cool from now on" thing. A woman with a gun and a cool collapsible vehicle (that is disappointingly slow and sounds like a tractor.) introduces herself as a smart, fame hungry woman. And the both of them set off to find master roshi (which if I am not mistaken means master old master, how redundant --;;) they set off to find weird balls with stars but meet a bandit (PARK JUN-YOUNG! GO BACK TO SINGING! Your rap wasn't all that good but Tae-Woo's back from the military you can probably think of something.) on the way. By now I am wondering what the point of putting 'Goku' in school was when he's never going to go there… was there a shortage of dumb thugs outside of school? Shit happens and finally the main bad guy comes out to tell Goku he is 'oozaru (big monkey… must be why the guy's named Goku.)' who kept being mentioned from the start of the film as the 'other bad guy'. After a surprisingly un-dramatic fight, master old master dies. And the 'dragonballs' finally come to use as they call out a golden salamander with thorns. (D-war sucked too but at least its 'final dragon' was cool looking!)

End (now back to DB-fanatic mode)

Let's face it guys. When a movie or whatever is made under the name of an already existent title, it is given the opportunity to forgo important stages of character build-up. Which is why reading fanfiction can be so relaxing, you already know the characters, so you don't have to read through chapter after chapter filled with the author's attempts to make you acquainted with the guys. (which is really difficult to be made interesting.) And because of this attribute of 'fanwork', it's usually REALLY boring for a non-fan to read/watch. When you have no affection for the characters, how can anyone expect you to care about what happens to them or what they do?

Also, because this opportunity is obtained by efforts that are not your own, there is some 'etiquette' that you are due to. DON'T KILL THE CHARACTER'S IMAGE. OOC fanfictions usually get torched. OOC movies which ask you to actually PAY to watch should be gutted, skewered, and be left in high radioactive beams.

Just for the record I think one of the reasons DBE (that is NOT a catchy name) sucked so much was (other than the obvious FAIL in characterization) was that Wong tried to stick too much in. I was actually pretty psyched about Goku going to school. I was looking forward to how our cute little monkey boy was going to make it out in such 'harsh conditions'…. Goku goes to school for less then five minutes. Apparently his school crush goes to be a 'fighter' in a place that took the dragonball-hunters half the movie to get to (but that could just be because they were riding Bulma's bike), and still manages to keep it a secret from her parents. Did I miss out the part where she goes to Yadora to learn instant transmission or what? The budokai that had the biggest significance through out Goku's childhood years flashes in and out of screen within moments. I wouldn't mind Goku starting off with more dragonballs if it meant that I was actually given TIME to see their little settings!

All in all I am not very happy with the live-action adaption of DB.

P.S: The interlude where Piccolo's 'sexy secretary lady' takes a dragonball from a burning village? It totally got to one of my pet peeves, that Japanese part was totally un-needed. Besides, Piccolo having a 'sexy secretary lady' is sacrilege.

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Please take time to see my meme for it ^^;;


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